is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
