Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
