My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
