It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
