My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize