bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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