some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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