You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
