I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
