And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
