I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
