If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
