Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
