He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize