sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
