who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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