please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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