jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can tuck mytits in my pants
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
