Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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