help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize