If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How external is "for external use only"?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
