What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
