Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
