She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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