Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
