kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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