My first STD was from a foam party
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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