Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
