Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
