Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
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