bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
