Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
