All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
