He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
