Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
