She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize