Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
