I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
