i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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