so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
