Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
