Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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