Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
