I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
