Me too!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
