someone threw a dead crab at me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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