This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
