i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Less talking, more tequila
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
