I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
