I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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