i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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