I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
