I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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