My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
