I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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