Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
