dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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