But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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