i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
