Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
