thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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