dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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