You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
