I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
