okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
