i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
