In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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