hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize