thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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