when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
