I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
