He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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