I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
