i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
