they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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