why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
