you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
